This past Saturday we attended our restraint training class (SAMA). While we doubt we'll ever have to use any of the techniques learned, the class went about as well as it could I'd say. The instructor was nice and made it fun and our fellow classmates made it as tolerable as possible as well. Clint and I were the only ones in class who weren't current foster parents so we were extremely green. I'm loving getting to meet these other foster families though; such a great group of people.
One thing I did walk away from the SAMA class was on the communication portion. We went over a process to verbally de-escalate a situation. While some of the steps seemed silly, I really see how the process works. The biggest thing I learned was when confronting an angry person, use questions that get them to talk it out. Questions to use are when, where, how, and what. However, NOT 'why'. This question can have an accusatory undertone, thus making the person angrier. I had never thought about that before! I know even with my mentor girls when they are mad about someone doing something to them, etc., I've been quick to the 'why'. Overall, the class taught me to be aware of my approach and how it is received. Oh, and to use open-ended questions (something that I DID know) to get the person in distress to talk rather than shutdown in yes/no questions.
So now we wait for the home study process to begin. This will be the first of many waiting times, I'm sure. However, we are prepared for that and actually in somewhat of a tough situation. We'll be licensed by sometime this summer (unless something unexpected occurs or they deem us not fit to be parents). I'd like to keep my job through the end of the year and then switch over to my husbands insurance, etc. This doesn't mean we couldn't go ahead and get a placement and then put the child in daycare temporarily (not what I'd like!). But, we also plan to take a vacation the first week in October. We feel it's important for us to get one last big, grown-up vacation in before kids. After kids, we know it's going to be Disneyland, etc. for awhile (if we get a vacation at all, ha!). Therefore, I do not want to take in a child before our vacation because I don't want to take them in and turn around and say 'we're going to be gone for a week, someone come get this child.'
With the October vacation, I'm thinking that we would not want to be open to a placement until after we return. I still don't like the idea of putting a child in daycare though, even if it's two months. Not that I'm worried about a horrible day care experience, but I want to be there for the child. I want to work on attachment (yes, I know we may not get to keep them). I want to be the one who provides for them. Yep, I'm selfish I suppose :)
Meanwhile, we've had so many people ask, 'when do you get a baby?' It's just not that easy to answer. We don't get the 40 week countdown. It's funny, I think we are more patient than our family and friends! We've got lots of time to be parents and start our family and it will be done on God's timing.
We saw Clint's family this weekend and his parents are extra anxious. I told Clint again, that it's time for a dinner with them so that we can have 'The Talk.' I need to do it with my family as well. Right now, they've got 'rainbows and unicorns' in their heads. They need to understand that this is going to be difficult; we may be a temporary family long before we get to be a special one's permanent family; we are going to be restricted more so than 'normal' new parents; these kids may have some tough issues to overcome that they aren't accustomed to; etc. And I don't want to paint gloom and doom, but like PRIDE, they need to be aware of the 'worst case scenario' and a little more about how this process is going to work. We're going to be dealing with CPS, Buckner, lawyers, biological parents, CASA workers (hopefully), medical exams, it's going to be busy and stressful. Of course, the rewards will far outweigh these struggles.
Once again, just thinking 'out loud.' That's another reason why I love this blog and will be great for me to reflect back on and see my emotions, etc. that I am experiencing along the way.
This week has been nice since it's Spring Break, which means nothing to us at the moment, but does to just about everyone else. Our normal extracurricular stuff has been cancelled this week so we've had slightly more breathing room. Although, I think work for both Clint and me kicked up a notch this week and we're already looking forward to the weekend. We'll be racing in the Longview half marathon (Clint) and 5k (me). I dropped down to the 5k since I just haven't had the time to get the mileage in that I should to run the half, so that means a short and painful 5k! I'll also be getting my hair chopped short this weekend. I was doing good about growing it out long, but I feel like I'm carrying around an extra 50 lbs when working out so it's time to say goodbye for spring and summer. I hope to get started on the nursery this weekend as well! At least get the furniture out and perhaps get the walls taped and prepped for priming. So, all of this to say, it's going to be another packed weekend...no rest for the weary!
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