Thursday, November 18, 2010

Calming down...

Well, I really hate that my last post left a sense of negativity in the blog. I've had time to calm down and think through things. Overall, I know that the person I spoke of in my last post means well for me. She does want the best for me. However, she wants what SHE thinks is best, which isn't necessarily what God or I think is best. And I know she doesn't want to see me in pain or struggle. Adoption, especially from CPS IS going to be hard and I know their will be tears and lots of difficult times, but I'm willing to face that. So, in all, I understand her position. But so much of her statements were of ignorance and that makes me sad.

I still have not told my boss, just never seems like the right time. For my boss, I know the 'adoption' part he will be indifferent on. I think he will actually be happy about us starting a family. My concern with him is the work part. My boss is kind of like a dad to me and someone I HATE to dissapoint. He is a work-aholic, loves his job and would do it 24/7 if he could have his way. He will not be happy about me quitting my job. In his eyes, I will throwing away my education. I'll fully admit that quitting my job IS scary. I never envisioned my life going this way, but I think it's a good thing. Deep down, I know I'm not 'throwing away' my education because college was so much more than just a Masters in Engineering, but I do still wrestle with that thought.

So, I have yet to jump that hurdle, but I DID tell his wife! Baby steps. :) And of course, she was happy about it like I knew she would be. So, perhaps she can work on softening his heart on thinking I'm a failure for quitting my job, well, for now anyway. I don't plan on being retired from the working world for life, but at least while the kid(s) are younger. However, I doubt I will go back to engineering as I won't be able to maintain my license. But my future job prospects are concerns for another day.

I'm looking forward to the weekend as a couple of my best friends from college are coming for a visit. See, I told you college was more than just the education! Their worth alone is immeasurable!

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