I have already spilled the beans to my mom and sister and of course they are super excited about our adoption decision. Clint felt it was time to share with his Dad. So, yesterday we went over to his house to eat and tell him about our plans.
I had no idea that Clint was going to go into detail about us trying to have kids for several months, yada yada. In retrospect, I wish that we had talked beforehand about how he was going to present it to his dad. Because of course, the first thing his dad says, "Well, you'll get pregnant as soon as you try to adopt." I don't think he truely understood that pregnancy is NOT our hope or ambition and that adoption is somehow a 'backup' plan. It's THE plan, the one we want and have prayed over! Of course, not to say that we'll be sad in anyway if we do get pregnant. I just wanted him to understand that adoption is what we want and that we are so very happy. And he seemed perfectly fine with it, but again, I guess I'm already turning into Mama Bear and don't want anyone to even think that this child(ren) is somehow second best.
At this time we are going the route of not trying/not preventing, but it's something I will be discussing with my doctor. I was on medication for years to prevent/slow the process of endometriosis because both my mom and sister have had issues with it. So, I may be going back to it if it will help keep me healthy and pain free, therefore, back to preventing and Clint and I are A-okay with that!
Anyway, back to his dad...we were surprised to hear that Clint's parents had gone through the licensing process to foster kids because they tried for three years to have kids. They even fostered a couple of kids! Clint's dad had the same issues Clint does so the cycling, while surely wasn't helping the situation, by not doing it, chances are it wouldn't have changed anything. Clint was a little upset that his dad never shared any of this with him. The whole conversation was akward really. Clint's dad is one of the nicest guys, but Clint doesn't have a very close relationship with him. His dad worked as much as possible just to try to make ends meet for them growing up and so was not around much. Plus, Clint's dad didn't have much of a relationship with his own father so I think he really didn't know how to be a father to his own kids. We hope that we can break that cycle! Clint so much wants to be an ACTIVE participant in his child's life and I know he'll be a great dad. And I dont say any of this in a mean spirited way towards his dad, there is so much more to the situation and his dad is a good, hard-working person. I just simply wish that Clint and he were closer. However, Clint has to do his part as well. All in all, I think his dad and step-mom are happy for us and Clint feels lighter having shared the news.
No comments:
Post a Comment