I'm losing my job!

And I am THRILLED!! I know, how in the world could someone be happy about losing a job? Well those of you who have been reading along know about my months of wrestling with the issue of becoming a stay-at-home mom. It's what I wanted and feel is right for the children, but I struggled with the guilt of 'throwing away my education', letting others down, living on one income, making a mistake etc. And then of course was the biggie: Telling my boss...the workaholic, the one who could spend 24/7 in the office and never take a vacation. The one who didn't really care for his own wife staying home to be with their kids. I had been waiting and waiting to tell him and then God and his perfect timing came along!

I can't really get into a lot of details, but there are circumstances that my boss is being forced to either get rid of the company and start up a new one or close it up all together. He came into my office on Monday to discuss it with me and asked what my plans were, did I want to do this forever, etc. I was finally able to tell him the big secret! Talk about instant relief! And I know he is feeling relief on his end as well because he knows that he won't be taking a job I wanted/needed out from under me. I am still just amazed at how things all fell into place like they have. Now, there are two other people in this company and nothing has been decided yet so he may decide to keep it going. And if the company does close up shop, I'm not sure of any timelines, etc. either. We should know more here in the next few weeks. I know it is a lot for him to sort through. No matter what though, I am ready and my mind is at peace.

I am just so ecstatic and feel like this huge weight has been taken off. It's also making me realize that we are in fact getting closer to parenthood. We've had to take another adoption specific training class these past two weeks and that is making things sink in more too. We were introduced to other families who have adopted or are in the process of finalizing and they talked about the waiting. The waiting and working through everything hasn't bothered me and I wonder if it should or perhaps it just hasn't hit yet. Right now I stil have 'tasks' to complete so it's active. I think after everything is done and we are truly in wait mode that I might get more anxious.

I hope I will be a good parent. One of our 'tasks' is to complete a questionnaire that asks anything and everything. I feel like I'm having to give a masters thesis to adopt. It asks some pretty tough questions, ones that I'm not sure how to answer and that worries me. Maybe I really don't know what I'm doing or will do. Perhaps I am unfit to be a parent. Lots of thoughts and questions wandering through my mind lately!